London Melange

What the Shop do you want?

2008-10-13T21:15:00.002+01:00

There has been extensive debate in the local London commuter rags about London retail staff being as rude as Sarah Palin's face.

What sparked the at times controversial dispute by us sullen bored and tired tube travellers was an opinion piece in the freebie london paper. It was written by a compatriot Australian ex-pat living in London. Our dear Aussie friend wrote a discussion piece on the lack of customer service by staff in London's shops, bars and restaurants.

Her major gripe (other than the bad weather [reverse whinging pom] seriously why did you come here, who ever said London had good weather?) was that retail and serving staff in London are rude, bitter and not on-par with what she misses from Australia.

She conceded that the minimum wage paid to most London shopworkers is very low, and that resentment is the reason they probably don't smile when they hand you your change - but come on when she said that every customer service experience at any store/restaurant/bar/service centre she has dealt with in London has been bad that has got to be overstated.

In the 2 years that I have been living in this global city, I've certainly had my fair share of rude shop assistants, bad waiters and awful call centre people - but that happens anywhere!

What I don't miss about Australian customer service is the people following you around in stores checking that 'everything is ok' and if they 'can help you with anything else?' What is worse is when they start coming into your changing room to see if 'everything is fine' Seriously? No thanks!

Can I elp you? Dere.

On other notes - according to Blankshooting there are 5 reasons that Sarah Palin should not be in the White House - but I think that the 6th reason is because she is as dumb as dog doo doo.

Work to live, or work to die........

2008-10-12T20:47:00.003+01:00

According to The Age, the Australian newspaper which I miss :(

Two million Britons dread going to work because they can't stand their colleagues.

Woah, what? People don't like going to work because their colleagues are stank? I hate my work because it takes up time that I could be lying in the sun, sailing on a yacht, or watching Hollyoaks.

In addition, the study found that 8% despise fellow workers, while a quarter tolerate them because they are paid to. Nearly a third have quit jobs because of the animosity.

No reason that I could not say that there is no animosity at work and that relationships at work don't have a major impact on wanting to get up in the morning when Jordin Spark's No Air howls out of my mobile waking me from my slumber.

But I think that the number one reason why I would dread going to work is BOREDOM! Lucky for me, my work is almost ALWAYS busy - but spare a thought for those poor security guards working on construction sites the length and breadth of this country.

Near my work there is a construction site, with not 1 but 2 security guards who stand for about 8 hours of the day, staring into space. There aren't too many potential crims waiting to break into a building site where steel beams are gonna fall on their head and knock them out.

Now that the West End has banished the human sandwich boards, building site security guard has to be the most boring job in London alongside - selling the Evening Standard, handing out the Sport magazine, and working in a drycleaners with no business (I live above it)

Thanks to the global financial crisis, these boring jobs might soon be non-existent.
Thanks to Blankshooting we all know what the global financial crisis means.

Money, Money, Money Amen.

2008-10-07T22:04:00.003+01:00

Born and baptised a Catholic, I am often at odds with the pontificating of our dear Pontiff - which ever one it is. Whether it be the Church's anti-contraception/safe-sex stance despite widespread aids in developing overtly Catholic countries, or the archaic views on homosexuality, women's role in the church or sex before marriage..

Today though The leader of the 1.1 billion catholics worldwide decided to come out and speak about the 'recession we had to have' - but unlike Paul Keating, our dear holy father decided to state that:

"now with the collapse of big banks we see that money disappears, is nothing and all these things that appear real are in fact of secondary importance."

Benedict says "the only solid reality is the word of God."

Now, try telling that to the probably more than 950 million Catholics worldwide who might now struggle to feed their families, pay for heating bills or afford to put petrol in their car to drive to Church...

According to many sources, the Roman Catholic Church is one of the wealthiest organisations in the world - an organisation that over 2000 years has amassed a fortune in real estate, artwork, cash and other financial investments.

Granted, much of this was put into the holy piggy bank in times gone by when the Church and state were one and taxes were shared by both organisations.

However, given the wealth of the Church and the common knowledge that it sits on billions and billions of pounds/euros/dollares - you'd think our inspired leader might have thought twice before suggesting that money is of no importance...........

Soctober

2008-10-06T21:03:00.003+01:00

Days are shorter, it feels colder, I walk in wet puddles in the morning and I am increasingly seeing more and more christmas bits and pieces everywhere.

What it means? It's already nearly 1 week into October - a month which according to Wikipedia in common years starts on the same day of the week as January.

What else does it mean? It means that work gets busier, there are endless countdowns of how many shopping days till Christmas and we are reminded that in the 19th century it used to be the month of the year dedicated to the Rosary by Roman Catholics (another wikifact)

In the US, this month marks many a social and cultural milestone. It's Filipino American History Month - yay pinoy!
However, given that so many nationalities must make up the US population, Pinoy Americans can't have the month alone - it is shared with Italian American History Month AND Polish American History Month....

It is also National Spinal Health Month and in a show of coincidence it is both orthodontic health month and dental hygeine month.

To mark the coming of Autumn, when we all have to start trying to warm ourselves up - forget movember, how about we have soctober. I propose that everyone wears socks tucked into their trousers and show them in style. It would go well on the following national days:

National Day, China - All socks are MADE IN CHINA - Chinese socks rock
Independence Day, Croatia - Zadom Spremni! Socks Smrdi!
Day of the Romanian Army - Former Eastern Bloc Socks!
Halloween, US - Pumpkin Socks - trick or treat!
In addition to US Sock activity - maybe some one could do the world a favour and put a sock over Palin? Then she wont be able to conduct her foreign policy by way of sharing a border with Russia and Canada.

Brrrr it's cold in here

2008-09-30T21:57:00.002+01:00

There are no torros in the atmosphere, but geez London is one crazy town.

On Saturday we were sat in the park, having drinks, laughing in the sun and getting sunburnt - this morning we were hauling out our umbrellas, stiffening against the chilly wind and trying not to slip over on the wet pavements!

Officially or not officially Winter has arrived in London town, borne into this fair city on the back of the credit crunch, economic downturn, recession and all other manner of good news stories.

JOY!

Stupid or a tourist?

2008-09-29T19:38:00.004+01:00

Now I have been a tourist in loads of countries where I have had to get my head around how to navigate public transport - Milan's Metro, New York's Subway and Marrakech's donkeys - but sometimes you have to question if tourists in London are culturally confused or indeed stupido.

Today I watched a European tourist continuosly try to insert their ticket in a Piccadilly Circus gate barrier that had in big red lights "NO ENTRY", complete with a giant red cross - the universal symbol for NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Not convinced by the red sign, she repeatedly tried to push her ticket into the reader until the ticket was so bent that it was of no further use.

After this display of stupidity, she then pushed in front of the heaving crowds of busy London commuters - especially me - to try and force her bent ticket into the right machine.

The underground staff member just stared and said nothing. no surprise.

toothpastefordinner.com

Come Dine With Meanie

2008-09-28T19:13:00.003+01:00

You would think that as a contestant on a TV show which base premise is for people to come together and share a meal - you would like to eat food.

As a consistent viewer of Channel 4's Come Dine With Me, (For those who don't know - it's where 5 strangers come together to cook each other a dinner party [entree, main-meal and dessert] and then vote out of 10 after each dinner, the winner with the highest score gets £1000) I can't understand why you would go on the show when you don't like eating new food...

This week Julie, who hates dessert screwed up her face at bread and butter pudding and upside down ginger cake and ended it by putting tarte tatin in her handbag.

Last week, Tanya the Sri Lankan cooking queen turned her vegetarian, tee-totalling nose up at everyone's cooking and despite the fact that everyone pandered to her tastebuds she never once liked one meal she ate.

Who would want any of these mean people at their dinner party?

Other people I would not want at my dinner party:

Simon Cowell (he'd tell me my food was not good enough yet, but that it had potential)
Sarah Palin (only eats American food from America which doesn't leave the country and is from Alaska
George W Bush (If he didn't like my meal he'd announce that I had WMD in my kitchen and declare war)
Dannii Minogue (having her unachieving presence in my dining room would make my food taste bad)

2 heads better than one?

2008-09-24T20:56:00.001+01:00

Sometimes having 2 of one thing is better than one. One thing that is not better? 2 offices.

Who wants to divide their time between 2 desks, 4 phones, 2 sets of stationery, 2 notebooks, 2 pens, 2 computers - not to mention 2 lots of colleauges, 2 office managers and lots and lots of commuting

Not me......

Yesterday I was at Victoria, trying to get on the District line surrounded by about a billion other people with no movement on the train line when the announcement came over the speaker "There is a good service currently operating on ALL London underground lines"

LOVE IT!

What made it worse was the trip from Victoria on the single level tiny bus carrying about 100 people in the wonderful stench of someone's vomit.
JOY

The urge

2008-09-16T22:39:00.000+01:00

I think I suddenly have found the urge to write again. It has been a while, a long, long silence. So many things to say, so little time. My biggest problem has been time to write. That and my addiction to sleep, FB and Hollyoaks.

Now that the flow has started again, let's hope that it goes from a trickle to a mighty river - much like the Amazon.

Did you know that Coca plants are allowed to be legally cultivated for traditional uses in Peru?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/amazon/

A cold city warming to my heart

2008-01-03T18:36:00.000Z

It’s not cold today I told myself when leaving the flat. Only to be hit with an icy Siberian blast from across the tundra. So now I officially feel like it’s been a year of living in the UK – only because I can actually remember the deep, dark, depressing days of January 2007 in London – notoriously known locally as the most depressing month of the Londoner’s year. That made it the perfect time to arrive fresh of the plane, and fresh of the beaches of Mauritius to a cold and lonely grey city. Today as I navigate the West End streets blindly, head buried in the Metro, I forget what it was like to be a lost newbie, fresh to the dirty, grey streets of London - stunned by the roaring red buses, the throngs of people and the insane volume of emergency services’ sirens.

Many times I have been a tourist in London in the last 12 months as we’ve ventured off to different attractions, events and shows – but only with visiting family have I really been a tourist in the city. Most days I rush through the busy streets and tube, tutting at slow, gawking tourists who get in the way of us ‘Londoners’, but with my Mum and sister here I have come to appreciate the trials and tribulations that confront tourists in London – confusing standing on the right with the logical left hand side, actually appreciating the beautiful buildings instead of rushing past, noticing the smallest detail and the most interesting shop windows, as well as misplacing your oyster card just as you arrive at the turnstile, mixing your pounds and pence with your Australian dollars and cents; and adjusting your 10 layers of clothes, beanies, scarves and gloves each time you go in and out of a building.

In 12 months this city has grown on me slowly, and it’s not been a continuous positive relationship. We’ve had our ups and downs old Londontown and me. I am beginning to appreciate her special qualities, while slowly becoming accustomed to her less attractive features. We’ve laughed together; cried together; shunned the cold and basked in the warmth together; we’ve braved unemployment together, celebrated a West End Christmas in employment together and we’ll soon turn a year older together. While 27 years is a blip in this old city’s lifetime, one London year has been a lifetime in my short life.

While I continue to miss my Melbourne home, my adopted city is slowly become my home (if not only temporarily)

2007-09-05T19:36:00.000+01:00

In a country where a store called Boots is actually a chemists, and a store called Office actually sells shoes - why not have a strike, that doesn't achieve anything?

I'll come back to the strike soon enough, but in the meantime more wrongly named things.

Here in PC England, Asian means Indian, or Pakistani, or other South Asian - and those more commonly associated with Asia are known as 'other ethnic group'. I find myself not knowing which box to tick. When filling in the Fulham library's PC ethnicity monitoring form - yes just to join the library - I was confounded by the options under 'Asian'. They were:
Asian - Indian
Asian - Pakistani
Asian - Irish

Now, I am aware of the subtle differences between the Irish and the English, but Asian they are not!

It is interesting to be me in England - apparently from how I look - I am Asian? Something I have never considered myself. Recently, at my old work a colleague said to me - "Oh, you're from Australia, well I take it you are an Asian-Australian." To which I simply said, "no (?)" This really confused him.

I have resolved myself to being 'mixed other' - hence 'melange' - the nosy government can deal with it.

Ok, so a Tube strike was inflicted on us poor commuters this week - apparently the Union did it to prove simply that they could - while turning our lives upside down. What should be 8 hour days have been 12 hour days, and my patience has been stretched. And what has the outcome been? The BBC quotes that nothing new has been given since the strikers decided to go back to work!

Mind the Bag

2007-08-31T13:00:00.000+01:00

In these modern times where every day we seem to learn that anything we do causes excess Co2 emissions and increases our carbon footprint, I do my very best for the cause.

When I go shopping down the high street I take my backpack with me, so that I can reduce the number of plastic bags I take home. Now, you'd think that this would a good thing wouldn't you? But it seems that the security guards in shops and supermarkets don't read the trashy free papers, with their endless brow-beating on reducing, reusing, recycling, saving this, cutting that, don't do this, don't do that - because whenever I go in to stores with my eco-friendly backpack I get followed around!

Note to you Mr security guard, you know who you are, my backpack is not for stealing, it's for saving the earth and my arms.

When I am in jeans and a jumper with a backpack these security guards watch me like the CIA watches Iran, but when I am in a suit, they bow to me and call me sir. Oh, and when I am in a suit and in Camden Town, I constantly get offered drugs. There's an idea, how about all the over zealous and bored retail security guards get out on the Camden High Street and start hassling the real crims - the drug dealers....